The bit where you had to learn the things was the most frustrating bit about school? I mean me and my friends are all here together, can’t we just party? Nope. We had to learn our alphabet first, then we could party. Class wasn’t always bad though, there were those few events that would occur during class that would even make it occasionally fun. WUWO investigates these in classroom events.
Milk
Got Milk?…Still doesn’t really make sense as a slogan, but I guess we did get milk. Milk was one of those things that had little school kids split. For the most kids either loved it or hated it, obviously with some rebellious kids being impartial to it.
The age at which you got access to milk depended on which generation you were in because Thatcher tried to take over the milk and have it all for herself, which in turn caused the great milk war of 1971. Much milk was shed and the age of free milk to all ages had dawned. Milk was now only available to children aged seven and below (later changing to five and below) We got over it though, shouldn’t cry over spilled Thatcher. Milk for Prime minister!
- The average cow produces 200,000 glasses of milk in its lifetime. That’s so calcium.
- All Cows are female and enjoy getting their hair and nails did.
- Milk is around 85 to 95 percent water, with the remaining ten odd percent being liquidised fun.
- Cows are almost always grumpy.
Pop-up Books
Ah, nice book you got there! Whatcha gonna do with that? Perhaps read us a fun-time story, ay? Sounds great open it up….Mother of God….is…is there pictures and sh*t coming out of that book? Well, congratulations Mrs. Teacher, you have my full attention!
The popularity and use of pop-up books depends on the region of the school with many right wing countries dispelling them as the devil’s trickery. After pop-up books most people find it hard to go back to regular books, which is why a lot of children don’t read and who can blame them…Most books don’t have stuff coming out of them.
- Ramon Llull was the founding father and architect of the modern pop-up book with sketches and illustrations of mechanics in books being made in his regular non-stuff-coming-out-of-it books around the year 1306.
- Recent Pop-up books have added audio and lights to the learning experience.
- Pop-up books are the reason most adults have children. So they can reread all the classics.
- In 2001, popular California ska-punk band OPM claimed ‘Heaven is a Halfpipe’ in their song…’Heaven is a Halfpipe’ and this was thought to be true until recent sciences proved that Heaven was, in fact, a pop-up book.
Class outside
It’s such a nice day and Teacher says we can go outside. Which is extra specially super cool when considering that there’s so much cool sh*t you can look at outside. Some cool sh*t you can find outside of class includes grass, wind, blue, funky pigeon and the outer-side of a building.
Other than being aesthetically pleasing, outside learning can be especially useful when indulging in such desires as collecting leaves for a collage, planting sunflower seeds or bird watching. The awesomeness of having class outside hardly wanes throughout the years and is still loved by many all the way up to them graduating.
- Oxygen has recently been discovered in the great outdoors coming from many green-like species (e.g. Tree) and it is found that oxygen makes your brain learn real good.
- Learning outdoors may cause grass stains.
- When learning indoors, windows should be used to help create the illusion of outdoor learning.
- It should always be made clear to children that having class outside does not give them permission to wander outside of their school’s premises and learn there.
Nap Time
All this learning is really exhausting me. Can’t we all just relax and do nap-nap? Well, with Nap time we bloody well could. Someone should really inform youngsters that this kind of luxury is not a constant thing throughout life. Rarely do businessmen stop a conference call for a nap. This is probably the reason that nap time is only really available to the most junior of infants because adults are worried that people will get too good at napping and start hibernating through seasons; awaking as a butterfly. An arguably worse consequence of being too good at napping is that it’s distracting from the job at hand, which was the case for a certain Murufreeboro, Tennessee man, who fell asleep after breaking into someone’s house. Perhaps if he spent a little more time learning at school and a little less time napping he could have robbed that house properly.
- Naps have many good consequences, such as helping with stress, increasing awareness (not during the nap), improving your memory, boosting your creativity and all round helping lots with your health. It’s a wonder why more people don’t do it.
- 6% of workplaces have nap rooms.
- A nap has been carefully designed to be yummy.
- Naps were rejected as a sport for the London 2012 not because they weren’t a sport but because the starting gun would immediately wake up participants.
