Imagine a pristine crystal vase resting on a table top. Without meaning to, you give it a nudge and witness it soaring gracefully through the air like a ballerina. Then it shatters into smithereens, leaving you standing over a mountain of debris. Here is our list of awkward moments during sex.
Now imagine this vase was a metaphor for sex. You’re with this stunning girl or smooth guy and out of nowhere, disaster strikes, shattering the moment.
We all have these awkward moments. Moments that linger… moments that we’d pay anything to forget… moments that will always make us shiver with disgust.
Realising very late on that you haven’t got a condom
So picture this, you’re a guy. You’ve lured the woman into your lair and successfully undressed her with your charm. She’s lying there waiting for you… and then it hits you, you never replaced that spare condom in your wallet.
Now, you could take the risk, or you could whisper in that low and husky voice that you haven’t got one.
Remember that vase I mentioned? Once those words escape your lips, you’ve taken a sledge hammer and decimated the moment. Better luck next time, bro.
The awkward moment when you slip your hand into a pot of honey and find it has bees. Seriously, untrimmed is not cool. Imagine you’re going on a Sunday walk… you don’t really want to be trekking through wild and untamed forests. This applies to both sexes.
Exaggerating. A little too much.
Never claim to have a double barrel shotgun if all you have is a peashooter. There’s nothing more disappointing for a lady, as she creaks open the cabinet with wild expectations of a bazooka, to find a pistol. Just go down, bro. It’s not a pleasant moment.
Even ladies are victims to this. The worst moment is when those breast enlarging pads slip out of the bra. Yikes. That’s awk…ward.
‘Baby! Oh baby! Don’t stop… OOOO… AHHH…’ she screamed, her nails biting into his back, her eyes glued shut. The man was just looking on. He’d stopped a while ago.
This is perhaps one of the most awkward moments for the guy. When a girl who’s faking gets caught in the act there is little that can shield the man from the sort of shame which will crash down on his ego.
Now that’s irreparable damage to the vase. Just pull out, bro.